spring break

anddddd... spring breaks starts.......... whenever my ride comes. lol which is very soon! i hope you all have a safe, productive, and wonderful week! :)

love doesn't have to be shared once a year

happy belated valentine's day!!! i hope you all were able to rest and feel the love of Christ on you yesterday [and everyday for that matter!!] :) i've never been a huge fan of valentine's day. but i don't disagree with the idea of it. i think it is important to share/let a person know how you care about them but with many holidays these days, it tends to turn into another marketing opportunity. :/ give me a good meal, spend some quality time with me, and praise the Lord, and well, that's sufficient enough for me!!!

danceEnSeMbLe2009~2010

so, tonight was the first night for our show, "we're dancing"!!! anddddd.... it was a success! God definitely gets the glory, because if he wasn't there, i DO. NOT. KNOW. how it would've come together. my twin, amanda, & i choreographed two dances and helped choreograph one. in total i was in 6 dances. i definitely have bittersweet feelings on this right now because i'm happy the show is finally here, but i am going to miss seeing the girlies every week. :/ anywhooooo, thank you lord for your strength, peace, love, & faithfullness! now, i am washing up and going to get some sleep for tomorrow's TWO [2] performances {one in the afternoon @ 2, and the other @8pm}.

may the ALMIGHTY Lord bless you this night!

<3

God is love & God loves you.

happy*new*year

HAPPY nEw YEAR bloggers!!!

God has so much he wants us to be a part of this year. i am very excited. this year is really going to be a year of pushing through and moving towards a manifestation of HIM! i pray that health and happiness be with you all in two*thousand*ten and i hope you will continue to press on in Him and get a closer and more intimate relationship with our Savior & Lord, Jesus!

God*bLeSs!!!

merry*christmas

MERRY {belated} CHRISTMAS!!!

i know that i wasn't on, but i hope that all of you had a wonderful, loving, and blessed time with friends & family. Jesus is the reason for this time, but the important part to remember is that, yes he was born, but he also lived, died, and ROSE AGAIN! he is just so awesome, our natural minds cannot possibly comprehend all of it. again, i hope & pray that God continues to bless you for the rest of the year, and for everyday following. make sure you pray, trust, and build a relationship with Him. that is what he desires. he loves us so much! THANK you Jesus!

Blessings!

christmas*music

right now i'm listening to josh groban's NOEL cd. and lovin' it.

i just took a very nice 40 min nap... mmmm boy did i feel comfortable in that bed under those warm&snuggly blankets! but now back to work---i have two research papers&presentations to do and one quiz to study for by friday. Lord, you are my strength!!!

i encourage you all to seek the Lord's peace in this day! put on the mind of CHRIST!

bLeSsInGs!

december1st!

HAPPY DECEMBER 1ST!!!!

i really, REALLY cannot believe that it is already the month of december. this year and semester has flown by! i love the fall season, and i love the winter season up until new years... after that...well, it could go. ;)

i pray that all of you will get the peace of god on you this month. that you remember the true reason behind christmas, and that you experience the love of god through your friends and family!!!!

GoD bLeSs!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, it's SNOWING! how appropriate is that huh?

Good morning

I'm back, and want to say "GOOOOOOOD MORNING!" May the Lord bless you this day! I know he is our strength and our provider in everything!

I've been expected to finish a number of papers and projects these last few days, as well as in the coming weeks---hm, who woulda thought??---and will only rely on HIM to give me the endurance.

Put your minds on Jesus today and make sure you hand over your concerns and worries, because frankly, he can do more with them than we can!!

I missed you ALL!

rain rain

"rain rain, go away, come back another day!"

indeed, it has been raining a whole lot lately! it does not even feel like summer. however, i was never a fan for super hot unbearable heat either. :/ the thunderstorms a few days ago, i did love though! i love thunderstorms. they are so powerful and the rain always puts me to sleep. i don't like it when a thunderstorm is during the day---especially when there is a chance that the power might go out. thus another pro to night-thunderstorms! lol

God is always faithful! he continues to work in me, my family & friends. my mother and i have had some misunderstandings, but were able to get through them, and i believe that we are at a better place now. a lack of communication with someone i truly look up to and want to be with is never good. i think some of the problems were created because i was trying to take care of things by "myself". which is never a good start: 1) i should always turn to God 2) my mother & father are definitely sources of support and wisdom. they are always here for me. so, i learned a lesson yesterday, seek God first in the mornings & throughout the day and never be afraid to talk to those God put in my life. even if the issue is small or big, there are always ways in dealing with the situations. :)

i also truly thank God for my friends, my BFF's, my "girls" ;D they have & always will be available for me as well. and i will continue to pray for them and come to them as well with my thoughts & needs. they truly are my besties. <3>

ok, im ready for lunch now. one thing about summer that could be a good thing or bad thing: leftovers. they never seem to go away! LOL

GOD BLESS! <3

"easter"

may you ALL have a blessed and God filled RESURRECTION DAY!!!!!

<3>

waiting

psalm 27:14
14 wait on the Lord;
be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart;
wait, i say, on the Lord!

the meaning of "wait" here isn't a lazy, passive waiting, but rather an active stepping back, handing over our current issues to God, and wait for his will to come to pass through us! His timing is perfect! i love it whenever i start to get stressed, or get a little unhappy with how things are going in my life, and the minute i change my mindset and focus on Jesus i get stronger. stronger in him and stronger in my faith. waiting for something only makes it better when it finally arrives! that's why i want to wait on God's timing and not my own because i always want something premature or too late. but God is so good! he'll make us wait for him to speak, seek him out, and in the meantime we get a stronger love connection with him. whatever God has in store for me--whether it be what classes i take at school, where i live next year, what job{s} i get over the summer, who my friends are, my future boyfriend and then husband, etc.--i know it will be great. and frankly, i'm not in any hurry. i'm going to lean back, study his word, get to know him more through prayer, and well....simply wait.

<3>

eck

i went to bed after a few hours of feeling like the beginning of a cold is emerging. i already prayed over myself for healing and strength, went to bed when i no longer needed to stay up {i wouldn't really call it early, but i guess it was} at about 11:45pm. i've been drinking some more fluids {water, cranberry juice, orange juice}, disinfecting the room, and trying to stay optimistic. i'm going to take another quick nap before my class at 11 today {actually my English class is going to be online today not in the classroom} so that will help with the occasional blowing of the nose. :P please pray for me because i really can not afford to get sick. i am so close to the end, and need to trust in God that this thing is only temporary and believe that it won't affect my life.

<3> in Christ

things temporary

a lot has happened to me since my last post. most of it has been me learning to be open to hear and listen to what others have to say, and most importantly what God is saying or wants to say. with the semester rapidly drawing near, there are soo many projects and papers that i have to accomplish in a very little time. i know that lately i have been writing about a lot of my academics, but really, right now, that is basically all that is happening in my life. besides going to church at terra nova here in ny, talking with friends about so many various topics (some academic)... i can really only focus on a few things at once.

one piece of news is that i get to see my new adviser tomorrow and show her my portfolio!!! whoo hoo! i'm so excited. once i'm there, i will talk to her about actually signing me off to the CAT Art major (Creative Arts in Therapy in Art), registering for the 2 classes i wasn't able to register for (because i had to be in the major and i wasn't yet), and.... to see if i can withdraw from chem. :( for about a week now, i have been really debating about doing this. should i stick it out (i hate not finishing something i started) or should i drop it because technically i don't need it for my new major and i already have the sciences requirements with my previous 4 other science classes from this past semester and last year. i wasn't doing as well as i wanted in that class. i would study, get some help, go to every class, but somehow the exams (we've only had 2 quizzes, 1 exam, & 1 lab exam---not many grades at all) are totally different than the notes that we take. :( granted, i could have spent 5 hours studying all the time, but i have other classes to take care of as well! if chem were my only class to take this semester, i would most likely have an A (well hopefully). however, as all students know, we have to prioritize EVERYTHING! so i decided that with the help of my parents, sister, & friends i will withdraw from chemistry. it will bring up my gpa, because i don't need it for my new major, and i will be able to have a lot less stress and can work harder on my other classes.

i talked to my mom & dad on sunday night about this whole chemistry decision, and for a little over an hour i was switching back and forth between parents. but i talked to my mom the most and she said some things that were really encouraging to me. i don't know how many of you experience this, but my mom tends to ask me questions or talk to me and figures out exactly what i'm feeling or am burdened with-----not only is it because she is a mom, but that she has the Holy Spirit in her too!

long story short (we WERE talking for more than an hour lol), she basically pin pointed the fact that i was feeling a bit like a failure--like i was letting my parents down. mind you, i didn't tell my parents that i was having trouble with the second semester of chemistry right away because i had just gotten a letter saying that i was on the dean's list for last semester and with this negative news, it would just damper everything good. so she asked me, "do you feel like a failure?" and that is when i started to cry because all the stress was building up in me and i was trying to not think about the poor grade. basically i knew what i was feeling, but didn't have a name to it. it wasn't like i felt entirely like a failure but rather i let myself and parents down because i know they want me to do so well in school. so my mom explained some things to me.
1) i'm not a failure
2) God does not think i'm a failure
3)my parents do not think i'm a failure
&
4) don't i ever think that again! LOL
at this point i know she is 100% true and that somehow i was starting to believe this lie and amidst all the studies, it was the perfect timing for these thoughts to sneak in---a time where my guard was down, and i wasn't praying a whole lot about things concerning school. she also mentioned that as a student you do everything you can to get in enough studying before a test---stay up late, wake up early, study right before the exam before class starts. if i spend SO MUCH time and effort in studying for a class or test that ultimately is so temporary and significant to the things God wants me to do, why can't i stay up late with reading the word and have it be the last thing i read for the day, wake up early to get my morning God "fix", or pray right before the class starts??
BAM!
duh!!! once again, i learn that the Holy Spirit and mom make an amazing team. haha.
so, ever since this talk with my mom, i have been determined to do things differently. i have been improving a lot, but oh boy, do i still have a long way to go! but don't we all?? like previous posts, i want Jesus to be in my every thought, all the time! i want to treat him like he is THE MOST IMPORTANT person in my life. school, work, assignments, etc... it is all temporary in the eyes of God. Yes, i should work hard in school, but it should never be something that takes time away from being with him.

i have been reading in the bible lately, and for a few days, i'm going back and forth between a few scriptures.

psalm 71: 1-3, 7-8
1 in you, o Lord, i put my trust; let me never be put to shame.
2 deliver me in your righteousness, and
cause me to escape;
incline your ear to me, and save me.
3 be my strong refuge,
to which i may resort continually;
you have given the commandment to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.

7 i have become as a wonder to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8 let my mouth be filled with your praise
and with your glory all the day.

psalm 55: 22
22 cast your burden on the Lord,
and He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to
be moved.

psalm 37: 3-5
3 trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land, and feed on His
faithfulness.
4 delight yourself also in the Lord,
and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 commit your way to the Lord,
trust also in Him,
and he shall bring it to pass

**new spirit filled life bible

i also wanted to share with you some songs that i have heard before, but just mean so much to me. last night, amanda& i went to val&annie's room and were talking and reading the word. towards the end, before we left to go to bed, amanda shared some youtube videos with val. these songs are EXACTLY what my feelings and stance on my relationship with God right now is. i hope that they will bless you as much as they continue to encourage and bless me. Thank You Jesus! <3>

<3>

to-do lists

oh the joys to being alive in this day & age. so many ideas, so many expectations, so many things...to do.

making a list helps a person get organized. it allows a person to see what he/she has to accomplish in preparation for upcoming events&assignments. a to-do list is a source of stress relief because you tend to not forget what is due when you visually see the notes&check things off as they get completed----well unless you forget to write something on the list, and that is another point for another time. perhaps i can write a post on forgetfulness. i should put that on my to-do list. ;P

i said that lists can help with relieving stress because you can see the lists of demands&commitments you previously are assigned to or agreed to complete. however, once that list goes from short to medium to long to longish to very long, well, forget about relieving stress, you have so much stuff to do by then! you don't have time to think about other things.

i made a to-do list last night. a list of assignments&exams due that i have to get done before Friday afternoon when i go home for spring break. it was sorta long, but not too bad because i only focused on one week of work, rather than a month or so {which i know will be stressful to even look at---one week at a time, one week at a time}. so, i wrote out my list of things to do, and included everything i presently need to accomplish as well as some "catch up stuff" because it is quite common that i get behind by a chapter or so of reading in one of my classes. from there, with everything included, i grabbed my highlighter and thought "i should highlight my priorities, so i can break things up and not get overwhelmed". great idea right? of course, except when everything on the list is highlighted except for two. :/

then, i came back from chemistry about 20 min ago, and was informed that i have a lab exam on wed {as well as everything else in the entire universe}, one more thing to add to the list!

oh wait, don't let a sigh of relief yet, we're not done yet! i forgot to add my day2 midterm for sociology that is on friday. awesome.

i talked to amanda&my other roommate jill last night letting them know that obviously we all have things to do this week {projects, papers, exams, etc} and to not worry when the room is super quiet and we are not all happy-go lucky. we are just going to really have to focus so we won't snap at eachother. be more considerate, and quiet than usual as well. help out whenever we could.

i also said that i'm going to be pretty stressed today because i have to write two papers today. i asked amanda if she could help me calm down if i get a little wired {you see, i already get nervous and anxious when i have to write one paper & writing two, well, is new to me}. she said something that i was pretty ashamed of not thinking of first before i opened my mouth. she mentioned, "well, God will help you first you know"... well durr! of course he will!!! i wanted to hit myself in the head. i need to go to him first before anyone else. he is my peace&comforter, which is exactly what i need for this chaotic week.

::thank you lord for always being there for me when i need you. both in good times & bad. i pray for peace, rest&comfort in the times that i get anxious today. my life is in your hands. i want to do well, make you my proud daddy. i don't want to let you down. i will work hard&try to stay focused. i am so thankful that you hold me when i need to be held, and smile at me as my eyes get lower... whenever i need it. i love you Jesus::

don't worry blog, i'm not letting you down

lately i've been going about my days like normal. wake up, shower, go to class, come back from class, eat, etc.

but every now and then, more often now than before, i have been thinking&praying about a lot of stuff. all kinds of things pertaining to my life now&for the future.

i feel like i am sorta in a rut with my blogging--but not. :/ i have never been a huge writer, but i liked to do it sometimes. ever since i started writing posts, as i go about my day, certain thoughts&situations come my way that cause me to ponder. "i should write this on my blog! this would be so cool!" usually pops into my head multiple times a day. but, by the time i get to my room, so many distractions have already beat me to the computer and either, i don't feel motivated to write anymore, or i forget what it was that i originally wanted to write about. then there are those times where i do remember what i wanted to write about, but have no idea as to how to go about it! therefore making me feel very disorganized {which i hate}, and somehow letting down my blog. :/ i know that this isn't true, but somehow i got the impression that when a person has a journal or diary or blog {which can also be seen as a virtual diary}, they tend to write in it frequently. writing everyday isn't practical for me but if an idea or thought comes, why stop it right? i never see the point in ceasing something if it is working out fine for the time being.

i created this blog so i could share {all} my thoughts openly&freely. it seems easier to share your life with strangers than with people you know. you are connected some way on the internet. not the same way with those whom i care about here at school, church, or home, but yet, we are still somewhat bonded by an invisible string. bloggers want to share who they are, to meet new people& basically display whatever they have a desire for. my sudden urge to write came from a need to get in a closer relationship with God. i needed to share what has been instilled in me. i have been poured with God's love&spirit&word for a long time, and finally needed an outlet. it is so vital to release what is inside of you. God uses us as his go-between---but only when we are willing to work for him. when we agree to whole-heartedly be a vessel for him to work through us, that is when his will is able to be fulfilled. obviously we can't do everything, but i can see people as his little-helpers.

this is why i have this blog. to write what is on my heart, what God puts on my heart, as well as some babbling that just needs to be done. :)

i guess this is all i wanted to share about today. not quite sure if it made any sense, or if it had any relavance or influence on anyone but nonetheless, it was something i needed to blog.

oh ya, i haven't done any work today either. yay for me!! :/

living in another era

i'm listening to the BecomingJane soundtrack and because i really, really love the movie as well as Pride&Prejudice, sometimes i wonder what it would be like to live in that time period---or era.

the clothes, the parties, the arts---reading, writing, painting, playing music.

the search for the ideal husband to bring you happiness and love. the suitors asking your father for permission for your hand in marriage. the flowers, ribbons&dresses the girls wear--aside from the lack of oxygen from the corsets----all so romantic.

however, even though these assets of the times seem so luxurious (even if the characters in the particular movies were lower class---the commitment and determination to use what they already have is honorable), everybody had to work so hard to get what they needed or wanted.

to represent the family name as much as these people did during these times is respectable--probably much better use of your time than watching tv or partying so much that you bring disgrace to yourself or even family because you can't even remember the friend that took care of you the night before. and to even keep your family name up high in that era is difficult. if a daughter was not married off in time for no apparent reason, the family would become the topic of conversation amongst the town.

on other thought--- maybe i wouldn't like to live in another era. i think i'll just keep the daydreaming of JaneAustin characters just that---daydreaming.

oh well.... being able to learn 5 languages, having your own library of amazing novels in your house, and a gorgeous man begging to marry you would be kinda cool though.

<3>